Pada level seperti apakah sebenarnya kepercayaan kita terhadap Allah? kepada Islam sebagai manifestasi peraturan kehidupan yang Dia ciptakan sedemikian rupa? Nampaknya ditanya seperti ini, hati nurani kita akan bisa langsung menjawabnya dengan kejujurannya yang paling dalam, hanya saja untuk mengutarakannya kita akan melalu proses “berpikir” dahulu… hanya pengamatan pribadi dr diri sendiri dan lingkungan sekitar.
Tak dipungkiri, manusia berada pada tiga fasa stage yang membuatnya akan berpikir. Fasa masa lalu, masa depan, dan masa kini. Fasa masa depan adalah fasa yang mungkin lebih banyak berpengaruh,karena itu adalah driving force dari survival. Hal ini juga yang disampaikan di dalam buku “Stumbling on Happiness” yang membuat manusia berbeda dari other creatures.
Tapi sebesar apakah kepercayaan manusia terhadap Allah akan masa depannya? Konfigurasi antara ikhtiyar dan tawakal, antara raja’ (harap) dengan khouf (takut) yang menjadikannya tidak sesederhana yang dibayangkan karena hal ini akan bergantung kepada banyak faktor,termasuk faktor edukasi, lingkungan, karakter, dll. Meskipun sudah jelas aturannya dalam Al Quran tentang kompleksitas ini, interpretasi manusia dalam implementasi akan membuahkan behaviour yang berbeda satu sama lainnya. Misalnya ada yang percaya bahwa hari akhir itu ada makanya sungguh2 mempersiapkan, ada yang percaya tapi leha2, ada yang ga percaya sama sekali. Ada yang mengutamakan logika sepenuhnya, ada juga yang bisa secara proporsional mengkombinasikan antara logika dan iman. Terlalu banyak variasi yang bisa mewarnai behaviour seseorang dalam menyikapi “usaha untuk masa depan”.
Dua hal sensitif yang terkait dengan masa depan adalah “jodoh” dan “rizki”. Ada orang yang mengorbankan imannya karena berpegang sepenuhnya pada logika,bahwa untuk survive harus bekerja..meninggalkan shalat karena ga mau kehilangan pembeli, meninggalkan zakat karena baginya itu rugi, dan lain sebagainya. Ga salah sepenuhnya mengandalkan usaha, manusia memang harus berikhtiyar,, tapi yang sepenuhnya ngatur flow rizkinya manusia stu demi satu hanyalah Allah. Di sinilah kadar keimanan maen ^_^.Well,,ini fakta bahwa ada yang berusaha tapi ga dapet apa yang diharapkan dan ada pula yang dapet kejutan2 yang tak disangka-sangka.Kompleks..
Soal jodoh pun nampaknya serupa. ahahha… meskipun si saya mungkin belum pada kapasitas membahas ini,tapi ini mah sekali lagi hanya a little thought yang pengen iin tumpahkan aja hihi.
seberapa besar kita percaya Allah akan memberikan jodoh terbaik, indah pada waktunya? Well, implementasinya bisa macem2 banget karena pada level ikhwan-akhawat pun ada sistem yang namanya nge-tag. si saya sih ga pernah ngetag siapapun hehhehe… ada pengakuan lucu dari salah seorang saudara di asrama bahwa dia ngetag si-X karena takut kalo si-X ini diambil orang hehhee.. ada yang memang lama menanti, ada yang jauh2 ke sana kemari akhirnya jadinya sama temen sendiri, ada yang ketemunya bener2 di pelaminan… macem2 ceritanya hehehhe….
Inget cerita KCB? Kisah Azzam dan Anna yang dihadapkan pada kondisi yang luar biasa yang ternyata ujung2nya mereka berdua nikah juga, hehhee. meskipun fiktif, tapi makes sense kal jodoh mah bener2 hak paripurna Allah. well pun ketika yang ngetag2 ini ternyata emang berjodoh nikah hehhehe…
intinya,,, mngkin di dua faktor ini manusia juga diuji untuk dilihat seberapa besar kepasrahannya menyerahkan semuanya kepada Yang Maha Pemberi Rizki dan Maha Pemberi Cinta, setelah tentunya berusaha secara maksimal. Manusia punya insting2 yang sudah dirancang Allah sedemikian rupa sehingga mereka memang pada dasarnya bisa mengontrol apa yang mereka inginkan.
Well, why i am writing this anyway? hanya random thought menyikapi skenario2 masa depan yang ada di hadapan mata…
secanggih apapun kita men-skenario kehidupan kita, tetep Allah sebaik2 pembuat skenario kehidupan..sudah cukup bukti dari diri sendiri yang menjadi fakta ini… karena kejutan2 manis yang Allah berikan sampai kini selalu indah… maka dari itu iin percaya soal urusan rizki dan jodoh ini Allah yang berkehendak sepenuhnya. Tapi pada level seperti apakita berusaha? nah itu juga lain cerita lagi hehehe…
Welll… kendali itu semua, percaya ga percaya, ada di segumpal darah yang menentukan kondisi kita secara keseluruhan… hati kita yang bisa kita pilih untuk kita warnai dengan iman ataukah dengan hawa nafsu…
Let’s just say it is one of my dreams to write a book about my journey. And two days ago, I found a very beautiful title. It is called “sekali lagi d langit eropa”. I really hope can publish this book within 5 years. Hehehe.
So far baru ide aja mau nulis apa hehehhe..sama ngegantung poster nya di Kamar sama kabinet d office, biar semangat menjalani perjuangan iin di sini sebelum menjejakan langkah lagi di eropa sana
Tuesday, 19th January 2016
As a person who is extremely a sanguine, I got this bless.. my emotion is significantly easy to be manipulated even because of small things. I called it bless or perhaps people can call it a disadvantage or whatsoever.
So, this morning, my mood was sooooo terrible. I got a little argument with my roommate..Beside that, level of my galauness lagi tinggi-tingginya… sampe kepala nyut nyutan karena setres gatau gmana njelasin kalo teori HCSolb nya ga berlaku for all of my experimental set up. Trus I remember what Allan said about using the other parameter and voila,, i compile all of the data I got that the data is much more suitable for the trend of the biogas I expect.. Ahhh it seems that a drop of light in the darkness.
Then to support my data I need to do the analysis for another parameter. I went to the lab, but then I need to burn the crucibles first. It will take 4 hours. so if i put it at 3pm I have to take the sample out at 7pm and waiting for 1 h to them cooling down. In other words, I will be going home late again toninght. But.. PERTOLONGAN Allah sangat dekat. Xiao’s crucibles that have been just removed from the oven are ready to use. Soooo I dont need to work late ahahhaha.. and I can get the data early in the morning.. before I submit the data to Allan tomorrow.
Subhanallah alhamdulillah…… now my mood is totally in a happy mode… smile brightly although in the morning the darkness engulfed my mind..
hihi…keep positive ^___^
Other things that make me happy is the presence of a friend that I know when I did the PAT in KANSAS university. I am just amazed how close we are although now we actually have been separated for 1.5 years. Uhibbukifillah, Lenggo…
Remember that I have written about my worries about HCSolb data? Well, at the annual retreat I sent my group leader a confession email that my first set of HCSolb data was not correct.
I was really worried because this data is the main data I will present in my theses. Although the trend is still the same but the numbers were not.
After 5 days, he replied and seems not really trobled with that mistake… piuuuuuuuuuh…. leganyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa… and myself has been worried since last 2 weeks when I found out the real method that i was supposed to use…
Now, I only need to present all of the collected data and organized them in right manner so I can show him the right arrangement and what other data that needed to be collected.
This reply really makes my worried lessen although not totally disappear. But my lesson is you can use your thinking for other thing rather than give an endless worries that makes your head feel dizzy.
Worry is needed until a certain degree, but “too much worries” will not do anything good.. so just be a proportional, Parlina. OKE ^___^
So, this is the continuation of my previous pieces. This event was held one day after my individual evaluation meeting. This event was when every single members of BBEL gave presentation to summary the accomplishment they have in previous year (2015) and the the target of the next year (2016).
All 27 members including post-docs, visiting researchers, PHD and master students gave 10-minute-presentation, and everyone can ask, evaluate, and give some suggestions.
Since I am the members of 2 groups I can choose whether I will give the presentation in the morning with the AD group or in the afternoon with the pretreatment group. I choose morning tbh, not because I dont want to be a part of the pretreatment group but only because my morning’s spirit will be much more higher ^_^.
The most amusing part of my presentation was the fact that the Professor walked by himself and turn off the light to see my presentation better. He could just ask his student to do that, but he didnt. Or he could just turn that since very beginning, but he did that after two presenters. Well, it was just I felt a little bit touched to see how enthusiastic the Professor to see my presentation. It seems that it was a proof how interested he is with the silica removal concept.
There were some suggestions coming from Dr Li and Xiaochao after I finished the presentation. I noted and also recorded it. Well I always record my presentation to see how far I am improved.
In the end of the retreat, the Professor give a quite long lecture and mention how expensive the cost he was spent in 2015 to fulfill all of the necessity in the lab, almost one million dollars if I was not mistaken. A lot, isn’t it?
The most mixed feelings I got from this annual retreat was how hard it is to be a PHD student.. My mind run wildly remembering the Professor’s offer. I dont know whether I will really accept that offer or not. hehehe…. I know it is a chance,, but let see..
Oh then I also got this award. I remembered that last year, he only gave the award for two most excellent students. 2015 has 6, and I was included. To be honest I was not that excellent. My result for the HCSolb needs to be repeated to see the reproducibility. But again, the new par concept caught the professor’s attention. Moreover, electron microscopy class I took at the Fall semester obviously gave some beautiful pictures to prove that concept.
Standing beside those 5 most excellent students makes me a little bit off.. it is a pressure for sure. But it is also a valuable encouragement for me to keep moving forward and put my best effort in my remaining time here.
(Professor, Rishi, Liang, Xiaochao, Innu, me, Jose)
So, as I said in the first couple of posts of my blog, that I will regularly write here instead of FB. But I am just aware of the info about this ODOPfor99days program that has been launched before January 4th. It is fine though, I dont really need so bad to be registered in a particular FB group that has commitment for writing one post one day for 99 days.. Hehehe.. but of course it will be nicer perhaps if the motivation can be kept maintained because the others are also doing the same.
For me, this regular posting in wordpress can bring benefits. The first thing and the most important thing is that these posts will be my documented memories that I can dig years later if I need an inspiration from what I have been doing years before hehhehe… It could be nice if some posts I made could inspire the others too… it will be “ibadah” yang continuous ^__^.
The second thing is that it can release my stress.. As an extrovert and expressive person, I feel that telling stories or “CURHAT” is a very important way to release my stress.. But you know, in this world that there are 2 types of people that can be “dicurhatin”. The first one is the type that can give you comfortability for your story and give valuable advice that can even boost your mood more. But the second one is the one that can negate some of your logical thinking and instead they will give you some advice that make you more pissed of. The result of curhat to the second type is of course makin sebel.. hehhehe… the Woman’s nature is to curhat without any objections about what they shared.. so they just need to be listened. Actually, they dont even need the solution, because the thing they only need is to express that happiness or sadness.. if you can give advice that can be expected to boost the mood, then do so.. if not then just be silent. It is the lesson for me too.. to be a good listener and understand the situation very well. Curhat for an extrovert and expressive person is inevitable…. NAMANYA JUGA CEWE hahaha. So, more or less by optimizing this WordPress, I can reduce the frequency to CURHAT to those people. Instead I could just silently post it here. I don’t expect someone to comment or whatever.. so let it be… I just want to write down things.. But if someone wants to comment, feel free to do so hehhehe….there is a significant difference of being commented in written format or commented directly in a conversation.
The third thing is I feeel realllly comfortable to write things here instead of FB.perhaps it is because not so much people read it anyway hehehehhe….
So..although I didnt register for that group.. i think i still can do it anyway ^___^
There is a habit or ritual in the BBEL (Bioproduct-Bioprocess Engineering Laboratory of Biological System Engineering-WSU in the beginning of every year that the Professor will evaluate the student’s performance for one year before and determine the target for one year ahead.
My evaluation in the individual meeting was scheduled at January 7th 2016, exactly one year difference with my very first individual meeting last year.
It was basically me telling the story for what I have accomplished in 2015 so far, what was the most interesting and significant findings, what was my major difficulties, and what was the suggestion for the better management. He wrote the evaluation in his file in the computer, and also in his note.
He was really interested about my result..to be exact a little bit hyped about it. That’s why when I gave myself the evaluation score, he always gave me higher score than that.
The most wonderful thing that he said at that time was that he offered me the PHD position. Unlike the others who perhaps asked for it.. Actually i did nothing.. He was the one who offered that. This thing is more or less based on my expectation regarding the fact that I am the only official student in the AD group while the other members are postdoc and long-distance-students in China, meanwhile there are abundant work in the AD field. So.. more or less I can see it coming. But well,I cannot hide my excitement and happiness when the offer came though.. This was more or less a recognition from what I have done so far.. and I am really thankful for that although I dont really feell I truly deserved it. REALLY…..
He said that I was the only master student that he already gave a promise for PHD support when I decide to continue my program here. and he also said that he only gave this chance to an excellent student..
To be honest, I was really mixed at that time. My result was not that good although he thought that the parameter I proposed is a new thing for the biogas evaluation parameter. There was a load too when I heard him saying that.. I mean,.. I am not that excellent, I am not that hardworking.. only Allah knows how I truly am.
But that thing was said and although my original plan is to go back first and continue the doctoral program at Germany. TBH, this makes me thinks again about what I am really gonna do. I dont know yet now… The only thing that I need to focus on is the Spring Graduation and academic paper submission if I really want to end everything safely.. ehheheh…
In that evaluation., The professor wrote in the form, that “IF I can GRADUATE ON-TIME and submit 2 papers, I will be the most productive MS student in BBEL in the last 10 years”.
innalillah… this challenge hit me right in the kokoro hehhehe…. I mean.. I dont know whether I can meet this expectation or not, although there is a possibility I can do that. But bismillah….. the challenge is on…
The last thing he said was about the award that he will give to the best 6 presenters in the BBEL Annual retreat 2015 that was scheduled at January 8th. If I can make a very good presentation, I can also get the recognition from the peers. (This story will be written later ^____^). But he said, “even though you didnt get that award tomorrow, at least until now, you have the highest score from my evaluation.. and please keep the good work.”
Some of his advice were already put in the facebook though, so I will not repeat it again here.
But btw, when I told my mom regarding this, she was little sad that she thinks it will be much more better If i can come back and continue the S3 in Indonesia, get married and have a happyly ever after ending hehehhe…
well,,, so far Allah always give the best surprise for me.. so as long as I give my best for the remaining 4 months I will be happy whatever the result is..
Lesson learnt today ^________________^
Dont judge an activity too quickly before you experience it until the end, because you never know that something that you dislike to do at first can bring significant benefits for your life… Allah is the best.. always gives the best surprise :). always thinks about that…that Allah always gives you what you need although you don’t like it at first
It is actually gain about the IC hahahah… how i love this machine so much… I was late to start the machine today..and end up to have a beautiful night in the lab wkkwkwkw….it is not that I really hate this… but home is better.. hehehe..
But then I am not the only one in the lab.. there are some other people too…The most wonderful thing is that I collected my courage to ask that person whether he is willing to give me the GC instrument
training for the biogas analysis… and yaaaay…despite his always stern expression, he says yes… alhamdulillah…….
(this is actually a homework that my groupleader gave me two months ago)
Mungkin peribahasa ini sebenarnya kurang tepat karena orang yang akan iin akan ceritakan di sini masih sehat wal’afiyat. Tapi ini yang pengen iin tekenin ke diri iin sendiri bahwa manusia yang bermanfaat bagi orang lain akan tetap dikenang dan dikenang meskipun dia telah pergi.
Jadi ceritanya, Jumat 8 Januari 2016 adalah hari di mana students nya Pak Prof Chen melaksanakan evaluasi tahunan sebagai review dari apa yang telah dilakukan selama setahun kebelakang dan menyampaikan target apa yang akan dikejar selama setahun ke depan.
Ini adalah tahun kedua menghadiri annual retreat. Tahun lalu mah Cuma nyampein topik yang mau diambil berdasarkan hasil literature review. Tahun ini… well… nyampein sebagian kecil hasil riset 8 bulan, dan ntah kenapa hasil ini bikin si prof seneng banget wwkwkkw tapi yang ini mah lain cerita. Beda tulisannya nanti ^__^.
Yang mau iin ceritakan adalah tentang satu nama yang kept mentioned during the annual retreat although that person has left 2 months ago to pursue his dream in Chicago. Mas ini adalah grup leader di Pretreatment Group yang baru lulus Fall 2015 kemarin.. Iin adalah yang termasuk suangaaat beruntung karena dia adalah salah satu sosok yang sangat sangat berperan dalam tumbuh dan berkembangnya riset iin di lab BBEL.. yang ngajarin ini itu yang nanya ini itu yang nasehatin ini itu.. and he did it to everyone equally kindly………………………….Orang China-Amerika paling baik yang iin temukan di Pullman.
The way he treated and helped the others make him really special for everyone. Even the professor kept mentioning his name so many times.. If Allan were here, he can type so fast for documenting all of what you suggested.. or “Allan was the one who made the checklist and organized things in the lab”.. even Xiao said specifically in front of everyone “if Allan were here, at least I can ask someone.. he helped me a lot..now he left I don’t have anyone to ask, not to say that Innu is not good, but Allan is just someone that I can ask everything”.
Jadi intinya Mas ini the telah melakukan banyak kebaikan yang kebaikan2nya itu menginfiltrasi zona orang2 sehingga even kalo dia pergi pun, namanya tetep dikenang..
Ini sebuah contoh nyata luar biasa… berbuatlah kebaikan-kebaikan, berikanlah manfaat sebanyak-banyak nya kepada orang lain… iin ga tahu niat sejati beliau, maksudnya orangnya emang baiiik banget sih, atau apakah memang dia melaksanakan itu semua atas dasar implementasi ajaran agamanya..iin gatau.. tapi yang mau iin emphasize adalah konsep ini ada dalam Islam dan I feel ashamed bahwa si saya yang justru orang Islam belum bisa menerapkan hal itu… belum bisa.. lebih banyak judesnya ahahhahah(ga juga sih.. kalo iin masih tergantung jenis orang yang dihadapi).
Jadi mari bersemangat melakukan kebaikan iin… tapi bukan semata-mata dengan niat untuk dikenang… tapi semata2 karena mencintai Allah… itu aja kan ya simple nya mah……………..Allah Yang Maha Pengasih Lagi Maha Penyayang yang tak jemu menebarkan kasih sayangNya yang berlimpah bagi hamba2Nya meskipun hamba2Nya mah bahkan ada yang berpaling tetep disayang juga…
Here’s an excerpt:
The Louvre Museum has 8.5 million visitors per year. This blog was viewed about 120,000 times in 2015. If it were an exhibit at the Louvre Museum, it would take about 5 days for that many people to see it.